Makes about as much sense as getting a vegan to sell meat!!

Ok honestly, why in the world do companies that sell clothing for plus sized put said clothes in their catalogs on skinny models???

This has been driving me nuts, I am so sick of it. How is a person supposed to know how something it gonna look on her if the picture, the only thing you have to go by, is a shot of some skinny model wearing clothes that they probably had to clothes pin in the back so she doesn't look like a baby wearing grown up clothes for dress-up. Seriously it is not easy to look at that and know how it would look on you before you buy it. It. Ticks. Me. Off!!!!

What brought this on you may be thinking, well I will tell you. This weekend my mom felt it neccessary to inform me that the picture on my facebook profile page (the only one I have that I actually think I look good in) was NOT a good picture of me and oh by the way the coat you wear looks horrible to, we need to get you a new one so that you don't look so frumpy. GRAH *headdesk* Thanks mom .. thanks alot.

After that everytime I put my jacket on I would feel very subconcious and quite ugly. So I found myself looking for a new jacket hoping to find one that would be better than the one I have (which is super comfortable, the perfect weight for the climate here, and I thought looked kind of cool. I found one, loved it the minute I saw it and truly thought it would look good at me, this is that jacket:



Cute no? The way it is styled  looks very classy and I thought that it would work well on my ample hips. I .. was wrong. I got it yesterday and excitedly put it on. well the lining inside it doesn't have that fullness around the hips, it is straight cut so that I can not even pull it around me. The top part is super baggy and loose and there is this weird bagginess around the side of the breat area that bunches up if I put my arms down at my sides. It looks wretched and that really ticked me off, cause now I have to send it back and hopefully get my money back though I will be out shipping fees. this ALL could have been avoided if they would just show the friggen clothes on the people who are supposed to wear them. Sadly I fear that they DO consider this a plus sized model which makes me lose all hope.. it is so frustrating!!! Just stop it stupid clothing companies... get a clue already.

On a brighter note I also got these sheets

at the same time and they are freaking AMAZING!!!! It is like sliding into a cloud of snuggly happy joy. They are made of micro fleece fabric and are super soft and plush but really light as well so you don't feel like a huge weight is pressing on you when you are sleeping. I have never felt such a cosy feeling crawling into bed before. I got them in black, and then another set in ocean blue (as shown in the pic). I adore the way the black looks, these have got to be by far the most amazing sheets I have ever felt. I have a full sized bed but I also ordered a black blanket as well for extra warmth in the winter and such but I got it in King size because I love to just curl up in a snuggly blanket and sleep, that is however back ordered so I am waiting somewhat patiently for it to come lol.

My cat Rocky who is mostly black with white belly, chin, and feet also loves them and looks totally adorable agaisnt the lush velvety black sheet.

So to recap this sucks rotten balls as do companies that have no clue, and these are heaven in a bed and everyone should invest in some they are FATASTICAL!!!

Anyway bed time for me, tomorrow after I finish my homework I will take a moment to fill you in on all the glorious drama in my life ^.^ I can barely wait.. bet you can't either lol!!

Why ?

^{Why is it that when people don't agree with us we call them close-minded?}

I really must be stupid!!

Cause honestly I thought that the statistics for teen pregnancy would drop rather drastically after the age of 19 .. but apparently I just don't have a clue...

Give it up!!!

See ... they know the truth!!

I simply can not say it any better!

Ok honestly I can not voice my thoughts any better than Nudemuse has done here so please go and read it because it is just so right on that I find myself speechless!!!

I wish my family would think for a moment

Bleh... .
I hate the cold, my winter coat does not fit me totally and I can not do it up and I can't offord to buy a new one, I can't handle crowds, I hate shopping, I can't walk fast or that far and I get terribly car sick, and yet my family has decided that I WILL be going with them today to drive an hour to then get out in the cold with a buttload of other people and walk up and down the sidewalks in Estes park shopping for crap I don't need or care about and certainly being I am dead broke and still trying to figure out ways to pay bills so I don't get things taken away from me, I can't afford. I do not have a choice in this, so I was told, and if I don't want to walk we will give you the keys to the van and you can wait in there... niiiice..  I love sitting in a cold van alone doing nothing. So please wish me luck as I have to fake like crazy today .. and if I express unhappiness or unwilingness to go... well it won't be good.. to I have to yet again put on the show of my life with my family...


I just love holidays..

When is it ok to bash someone else?

So I have been thinking about this alot lately. I embraced the idea of the fat or size acceptance movement because it appealed to my thinking that no matter a persons size they should still be treated like a person, with respect. The fact that I wear a size probably double what the average person wears... and triple what is acceptable to society does not make me any less of a human, or less deserving of respect and kindness. That makes sense right, that just because someone doesn't look the same as me doesn't give me the right to treat them with any less respect as I would anyone else right, nor does it give anyone the right to treat me disrespectfully and bash me? Thats the premise of the whole thing right?

So the question that comes to mind as I read different blogs around here is when does it become ok? It sure does seem like there are instances when it does seem ok, when someone voices a different opinion, then it is ok to pull out the sarcasm and putdowns, the blanket statements and stereotypes? When someone lives or believes differently than I do, then it is ok to call them crazies, say they are creepy and throw a bunch of stereotypes at them just from the few glimpses you caught into their life and proclaim it as truth? It is ok to treat them with less respect because they are different... weird... creepy even and this gives us the right to tear them apart in conversation or in our blogs!

This is because these are OUR blogs.. and within said blogs we are THE BOSS and so what we say goes!! We have the RIGHT to cut down anyone who might disagree with us, no matter how kindly or respectfully or innocently they might have done so. If the people live differently, believe differently, or think differently then this seems to open them up to being totally disrespected and treated like crap.

This isn't ok with me, I feel that if I am asking for people to treat me as a human with respect even though I may not be the standard size as they are, if I expect that people truly get to know me before jumping to stereotypical conclusions then I should be doing the same thing for them. I guess it goes back to the who do unto others what you'd like them to do unto you. I don't think it is right to paint all people of one group with the same brush and say well these <insert whichever group you would like here> that I know do this stupid annoying thing so therefore they all must do that and since this person identifies as one of those they must be exactly like that. I think that if I do that.. and continue to ask and campaign to be accepted regardless of my size then I am a hypocrite plain and simple.  If I am not willing to extend that same sort of courtesy to others then how in the world should I expect that from them? Along those lines if someone comes to me with a different opinion and or thought and presents this to me with respect and a true openess then it is certainly not right for me to cut them down, insult them, mock their comments with sarcasm or snark all over them. If I don't feel like I can answer the question, or I don't agree with what they say, or I find what they say totally ignorant I should still treat them with respect tell them that we must agree to disagree, or that that is just something I don't feel right discussing, or just don't say anything at all. Why do you feel like you need to jump all over someone.

I guess to sum it all up is I don't understand the judging and bashing that I see, I am a big believer in dealing with actions, but treating EVERYONE with respect. Now let me say that if someone comes in purposefully slamming and disrespecting me or someone else then they are clearly in the wrong and their actions have brought whatever they get from people. THAT kind of stuff I understand reacting to, and that should be reacted to totally.. but to bash someone for who they are, how they look, or because they believe differently just doesn't fly for me and I am wondering when is it ok? Where is that line for you? Am I looking at things wrong when I say that doing that when I am asking for acceptance just makes me a hypocrite?  

Discuss :D

New Treasures for you to behold!

Hey all,
I hope things have been going good for you, things have been kind of busy and clouded for me here lately. With getting into school and trying to figure out where my life will be going now I haven't given myself much time to just sit down and write but I think that should change. I have a lot of "stuff" on my brain that I need to get out. It will come, I kind of withdrew from sharing what was going on in my head during the whole election cause I was so tired of hearing all the bashing and such on the news, and media, I just didn't need to think about fighting, or expressing my opinion about anything really lol.

I have been doing a ton of thinking about everything in my life and all that will come out in due time as I can process it. That is however not the reason for this post, so let me move on to say that a while back I told you that I was planning on working on some shirt designs that promoted Size Acceptance and the idea that beauty doesn't have set guidelines. Well with everything happening in my life it has taken me some time to actually sit down and put together a place to offer these to you all but finally I have. I opened up a store on Cafepress which I found to have the best quality, largest selection of sizes, and best customer service. I wanted to first unveil my first two designs to you all, who inspired me to make these. So without further ado I present:

Beautiful

(Please note: watermark will not be printed on the version you will receive it is simply for copyright purposes)

And

None Of Your Business!


(Please note: watermark will not be printed on the version you will receive it is simply for copyright purposes)


So there they are, the first two designs in the Accept Yourself section of the CordyQ Designs Store. I hope you like them, and if you have any other ideas for cool shirts, Etc that you would love to wear or have let me know and I will try to make them available to you! I can also customize Items if you just send me an e-mail at CordyQ@gmail.com I can let you know if it is doable and get it into the store as soon as possible.

Birthing Coach needs Your advice!!

Hey all, I am the leader of a youth group here in the city I live.I love these kids like my own and try to do whatever I can to help them become wiser adults. One of my girls that I had in my group a few years ago is being induced tomorrow. The father of the baby is not welcome at the hospital with her, as he has since dumped her and gotten together with another girl who has threatened the life of her child. Couple that with a mother who is currently in jail and a tense family situation over all, my girl we shall call her T, has asked if I would be there for her as her birthing coach as I am the only one she trusts and can lean on.  I am honored and want to show her love in this way. I want to assist her in the best possible way I can to make this day, the birth of her child, as smooth and easy as possible.

This is where I need your help, I do not know much about birthin babies lol, being that I have never had any of my own and haven't been in any other deliveries I need all the advice and hints I can get. Now I have been working in the medical field for about 12 years now so I know quite a bit about the health side. So let me start with a few questions.

What are somethings I can bring that will make the day better and help out T?

What things helped you most when you were in labor?

What responsibilities should I over take IE: screening phone calls and visitors, talking to the doctors, what things would ease her mind.

Give me any and all advice you can think of that I can go through keeping in mind that this all happens Thursday morning at 7:30 am so I don't have a whole lot of time (don'tcha love short notice) both in how to coach her through the labor process but also things I can bring , and things I can do to make the day better for her over all.

I thanks you in advance for all your advice and ask for your prayers and/or good luck wishes that I can be a calming factor in all this for her.

Fallen Dreams

I am posting my latest work, I just got a new graphics tablet and was playing around with it and this is what came out.
I have been in a huge Autumn mood lately which kind a shows I think.
Anyway the painting really reflect emotions I have been dealing with, so is quite personal to me, but I don't really like to explain it so that others can get what they want from it!
Thanks for checking it out :)

What becomes of the broken hearted?

*Le Sigh*
I have heartburn..
On top of a broken heart
and no Tums have I

I decided to write centered today...
do you think it will help center me?
We shall have to see...

I have been dreading tomorrow all day today...
see I was supposed to go to this bible study fellowship thing
that I started going to with my mother
cause I thought it would please her
I hate it!
Well not IT persay as I like what I learn there
but I hate being surrounded by a ton of ladies
who all "seem" to have it together
makes me wonder how long it took them to appear that way?
I decided I wouldn't be going tomorrow,
or anyday after that.
I shall find my own place to belong!

I wonder why we can't all be more genuine and real?
If we could all feel free to express the "Bad things",
You know those ones that keep us from "having it all together",
then maybe we could let go of the shame, guilt, etc,
be open about those hardships
Deal with them...
let them go...
and then in some weird way have it all together?
Like when I am told an item of food is "bad"
then I want it more
but when I let go of the bad
I don't feel that strong a pull to it anymore.

My cat just threw up...
Maybe he has heartburn too
poor kitty... I sympathize.

My parents are gone for a week,
I have the place to myself
I could go naked if I wanted to
cool huh?
I am not though...
just thought I should clarify that.

It is nice having the place to myself,
I miss having my own place,
I find I feel less of a compulsion to eat,
when I am on my own
and not feeling ashamed of it.

I have gained like 40 pounds
since I moved in here
with parents who constantly watch what I eat
and play Concern-icus trolls
Where as the three years I was previously on my own
I held a steady weight (give or take a few pounds)
when I gave myself freedom to eat
what I wanted, when I wanted
and to stop when I was satisfied.
No deprivation...
No shame....
No having to hide...
little to no interaction with Concern-icus trolls.
Weird huh?

I am angry at my broken heart,
and at the men who made it that way.
I say men cause it wasn't just this last man
who shattered that porcelain vessel
it was much like a teacup that has been broken
and glued back together
only to be broken again.
It makes me angry
at them
for playing with it in such a way as to damage it
at myself
for allowing it to be played with and not keeping it locked away
at the whole dang thing
for always giving me hope
only to dash it on the rocks
leaving me angry
and sad
and bitter
and not trusting
but now suspecting that others are playing games too
Dumb Broken Heart
it needs a hug...
and some glue
or duct tape..
aaah yes that silvery wonder would work.

King of Cakes
fun show
and Duff makes me giggle
Silly Duff
also like receptionist chick
but I don't know her name

Ok I am done
gonna go lay on my left side
and hope the heartburn goes away

ta ta for now

It's been on replay for hours

Damaged

Dreaming comes so easily
'Cause it's all that I've known
True love is a fairy tale
I'm damaged, so how would I know

I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know

I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

There's mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a naive girl, but I can't go back

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
Can't go back, Can't go back, Can't go back
I can't go back, I can't go back, I can't go back
I must go on, I must go on, I must go on


Damaged ~ by Plumb