Monday, October 10, 2011

No, you feel pregnant,... not fat ...there is a difference!.

A few days ago I was reading a lifehacker blog post about 10 food myths that just won't die. It was a pretty cool post and many of the myths or lies they talked about were diet related that people speak as gospel. Well that post has now been deleted but there was a comment on there that always manages to get me angry.

It was a comment from a lady who was going on about how the post was so wrong regarding a few of the myths and how posts like that one are going to make people  so unhealthy. She ended the post with something along the lines of "when I was pregnant I gained twenty pounds and I know what it is like to be fat. I was so miserable, you can't be fat and happy and this post is doing no one any favors."

Y'all I can not tell you how many times I have heard otherwise skinny or normal weight people say that since they have been pregnant they know exactly what it is like to be fat. Ok, umm.....


Seriously it drives me absolutely nuts when I hear this, and I hear it often. People who have never experienced really being fat getting pregnant and then going on and on about how fat they feel. They talk about how hard it is to find clothes, tie their shoes, and so on. I hear them whining about it on Facebook and have had friends and family members go on and on about it to me, some even remarking how now they understand what I go through and oh my goodness how can you stand it?

So ok, let me just say this, you being pregnant does not induct you to the fat sorority. You have no clue how it feels being fat because you are pregnant and that is so not the same thing. Please let me tell you why;

First off, my fat is soft , squishy and somewhat mold-able because it is full of adipose tissue (fat), your pregnant belly is growing a human, it is hard and really resistant to changing it's shape. So when you find it hard to get out of a chair because your stomach does not move like my fat one does, there is a child in there. When I go to stand up, sure I may not do it as gracefully as others but my stomach squeezes and moves so that it is a whole different experience for me. You don't know what that is like, your experience is not mine, you are pregnant not fat.

Secondly, when you are pregnant you gain weight rapidly because once again there is a child growing inside you and it needs room and your body is holding onto more weight. My fat has taken years, decades, and many failed diets to grow on my body. I have been able to slowly adapt and function with it, it is a part of me. You go on and on about how you can't even walk upstairs without getting tired, how you can't walk like you did before, and about how out of energy you are all the time. You are not used to carrying around that weight and so of course it is going to feel drastically different, but here is a news flash... it is not always the same way for fat people. Your hormones are going wild and your body is busy growing life, that will drain energy pretty quickly. Once again, for fatties like me that is not the case, we are used to our bodies and we have adapted to how it moves and works. If we are low on energy it is not the same kind of feeling or reason. You are pregnant and your body is doing something amazing but you are not fat  so thinking that all fat people feel the same as you is just ignorant.

One of the biggest things though, is you are pregnant, and people love and adore pregnant women. They often held up as special and wonderful, people see a pregnant woman and they congratulate you. They get excited and happy and see you as beautiful. You do not get the vast quantities of hatred and stereotyping that a fat person does every day. People see a fat person and they are often disgusted, full of assumptions and fear. Your pregnant body is celebrated, the fashion industry feels it is important to give you cute trendy clothes. You do not hear the constant stream of veiled death threats simply because of the shape of your body do you? Have you ever heard 'you are pregnant, you are going to die,' or 'don't you know that you will get a ton of fatal diseases by being pregnant?' You don't see people posting comments on a picture of another pregnant person talking about how they just want to beat-up or kill anyone who is pregnant. I however do see those things, often, daily and more than you can and every will truly be able to fathom, to the point that the world can seem like a very hostile place.

So please, the next time you are tempted to commiserate with a fat person because you are, or were, pregnant at one time, well just don't. You being pregnant does not give you the right or place to talk about what it is like to be fat, cause girl you have no clue. You may be miserable in your changing body but that doesn't mean that all fat people are miserable too, so stop talking for us.

The same goes for all those people who put on fat suits and then say they know just what it is like to be fat. You are hot because you have a huge fat suit on, my fat body however does a good job of regulating my temperature and it feels nothing like being in a huge padded costume. Maybe I am the only fat person who gets completely annoyed by this but I dare say I am not. Are you bothered by this like I am? What would you say to a pregnant lady who is going on and on about how hard it is now that she is "fat?"


  1. Hee hee ... thanks :) I needed to vent I guess.

  2. I felt horrible in ways I can't even describe when I was pregnant. Being fat doesn't feel like anything, at least not physically. It just IS. As I said on Fat Heffalump's facebook page, reading this gave me one of those DUH, slap self on head moments. When I was pregnant I was one of those unfortunate individuals who was obsessed with not becoming fat--not because I hated other fat people but because I was already picked on and was scared of giving people more reason to pick on me. Jeez...being fat doesn't feel like anything in particular. One just goes on with one's day. Being pregnant feels like crap--at least it did for me.

  3. I can totally understand where you are coming from, and I bet that being pregnant is a HUGE change to a persons body ( I have never experienced it but I can imagine) and so it would be pretty normal to freak out a bit about that. I think the frustration came when they would state that now they know just what I felt like, as though we had some sort of camaraderie, and then go on and on about how awful and miserable it was. You are right, being fat just IS... that part really never ever bothers me, the fat stigma and hate however is the part that hurts and causes so much misery. I think that is why we fight so hard against the hatred but don't rally like crazy to try and "cure" the fat people.